Let's be honest, there’s really no way to totally shut off the pain of going through a miscarriage. It’s a physical and emotional ordeal that’s far heavier than anyone would guess – and the isolation that sets in when you feel like no one seems to grasp what you’re going through can only add to that.
That’s why self-care is so crucial in the wake of a miscarriage: Taking some time to nurture your mental, emotional, and physical well-being can help you heal. Every woman’s approach to post-miscarriage self-care will look a bit different, but these five methods may go a long way toward helping you feel more like yourself again.
Give yourself a break
It is perfectly acceptable to take some time away from work after suffering a loss. You can explain the circumstances to your boss, or you can simply say you’re working through a health issue (which is the truth!). Either way, you shouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt if you choose to take some time to just relax or spend time with family. If you feel up to it, you may even want to consider booking an impromptu trip with your partner. A change of scenery and a chance to spend time together may be exactly what you need to jumpstart the healing process.
Talk about it as much (or as little) as you want
We’re finally living in a world that encourages women to share their stories, which is wonderful. If you want to share your experience with family members, friends, or even your social media following, you absolutely should – and you just may hear from other women who have experienced miscarriage if you do. The major upside to this is that you’ll have so much more support. With that being said, you shouldn’t feel pressured to talk about your experience unless you’re comfortable doing so. If you’re not ready to tell anyone what you’ve been through, wait it out - it may take time for you to get there. Ultimately, it’s your story. Who, when, and how you tell it is entirely up to you. And if your miscarriage is something you never feel like discussing publicly? Well, that's your choice. If it feels right to you, that's all that matters.
Ask for help
Your doctor can likely point you towards a few resources that’ll help you through your grief, whether it’s a miscarriage support group or a therapist. Talking to someone who won’t judge you may help you process your experience – and finding a tribe of women who have walked in your shoes could help minimize those feelings of isolation.
Put your needs first
This is one of those times in life when it’s ok to be a little selfish. Don’t force yourself to go to that baby shower if you don’t feel up to it — instead, make an excuse or simply explain your situation to the host. The same goes for visiting a new baby, seeing a family member’s nursery, or even just hanging out with a pregnant friend. Oh, and if the constant stream of pregnancy announcements and bump shots on social media starts to make you feel worse….well, there’s nothing wrong with temporarily signing out of your accounts. Surround yourself with positivity and block out the things that make you feel worse.
Lean on your support system
We spend so much of our lives trying to take care of everything, but part of self-care is allowing yourself to rely on support. Talk your partner through what you're going through, even though he or she may not be experiencing it in the exact same way. And don't be afraid to tell your partner what you need during this time, whether that's a shoulder to cry on or someone to take you to a support group. Don't feel bad asking a loved one to be there for you: Ask your mom to schedule a visit, ask a friend to spend some time with you, or schedule a weekly phone date with your sibling. The people who love you want to help you through this. So let them.
Have you recently miscarried? We're so sorry to hear that. Give yourself time and space to heal. So many women have been through this — and while that doesn't make it any easier, it's important to remember that while you may feel alone in this, you're not. And if you need help, please seek it.